![]() Then someone yells “Oh shit! It’s the rude boys!” The nut sack hanging out of the overalls right by my face was no contest in terms of trauma. ).Īnyway, the skinheads come into the Punkin Donuts parking lot and start shaking everyone down but when they see this drunk ass green mohawked peacock they went nuts and just started kinda ground and pounding him (a very bad way that a group of people beat up one person, for those of you unfamiliar with the term). There was one guy with a huge green mohawk who was clearly wasted beyond all your standard “I can stand up” levels (side note, I was sitting there and a guy in overalls walked by and right at my face level were his balls, hanging through a strategically placed hole in his overalls. This is, as far as I know, the only time I EVER snuck out) we’re hanging out giving cigarettes that we don’t even know how to smoke away to chubby girls who would rather die than kiss us and looking around at the wild crowd who were mostly from Medusas (the juice bar I mentioned earlier). Chris and I were actually very good kids. ![]() It was the kind of thing that cops ignored bc it was mostly 14 year olds with their first pack of cigarettes trying to make out with the chubby goth girls that thought said 14 year old boys were adorably naive in terms of who gave a shit about them.ĪNYWAY, this night (and we only did this once. We wanted cigarettes so we could look cool and offer them to girls and maybe parlay that into making out…this never ever happened just by the way).Īt the time the area of broadway by my house was all strip clubs and peep shows and greek restaurants with cigarette machines, which is cool, but we wanted to go to the punkin donuts, which was a dunkin donuts with a big parking lot around the corner from the Alley (skateboards, leather jackets, tattoos, dildos, bongs and uh…plaster ionic columns for some reason?) an all ages juice bar called Medusas (saw bad religion on the against the grain tour there!) and also was in my weird ass neighborhood and was very much a punk/goth/queer/etc locale for just kind of kicking it. here’s some quarters for the machine,” we were just terrified and 14 and had no idea what the fuck he was talking about. One night Chris and I snuck out of my house to go learn how to smoke (the dude at the greek restaurant with the cigarette machine: “yeah, you having a Nic fit? I know how it is. And there’s more before we even get to what I’m actually talking about. I sang all about this twenty plus years ago and if this is really the part of this you wanna hear about i’m happy to discuss it more but what I’m trying to do is paint a picture of the world I grew up in. There also should have been 12 cans in the 12 pack but what are you gonna do? It’s the price of business, innit? We had regular homeless including (I think I’ve done this already so I’ll keep it brisk) the dude whose skin was pitch black who wore burlap sacks who slept on our fire escape and who I would have to walk by every morning on the way to school, the old Japanese guy with the long ass mustache and goatee that we called animal chin for obvious reasons (google it), the guy that drove the bus (he just kinda walked down the middle of the street holding a large imaginary steering wheel), dudes like Ed, who I was friends with from 5th grade to junior year when he suddenly uh…I guess anything could have happened to him but he was cool because he’d always buy the beer, and no matter what I asked him for, it always ended up being natural ice (the highest alcohol percentage for the lowest price in this corner shop) and somehow it always cost 20 dollars (nineties money! that shit should have been 10 bucks. ANYWAY, from the beginning, wild neighborhood. “We live in a very interesting neighborhood” is almost certainly what my mom would have said, though this is all cosplay at this point. “That’s not shoes” I feel like I might have said to my mom, even though I bet I didn’t say anything. Anyway, the ‘shoe repair’ shop right next door that also specialized in leather repair and sold some token leather items had a big picture window and in said picture window was a picture….uh….maybe six by three FEET of an extremely veiny boner wrapped in leather straps. One day when I was about ten, my mom was taking me to a movie at the Belmont theater on Belmont and Broadway (we were gonna see a movie that, for reasons that you’ll soon understand, I don’t remember what it was). Regardless of that, it was a pretty cool neighborhood with lots of different walks of life all doing their thing in the same place. ![]() I grew up in an extremely vibrant area in Chicago called Boystown which I believe is the first municipally recognized gay neighborhood in the US.
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